MattRaking

13 May

Portland’s Unicorns finally pick a candidate.

Portland, Or. A very liberal place, where I spent a good amount of my youth wandering and learning to love it. It is a strange land full of inclusive people, who are, ironically, the most xenophobic people on the planet. “We love you all, just from a safe distance. If you are from California, then we hope you all die a painfull death filled with misery and shards of glass and gravel”

harsh sounding, but I am telling you, that sentiment is really under the skin of all those hippy dippy hemp loving no-self-gas-pumping Oregonians.

Anyway, this was in the Slog today, they got it from Willamette week.

Unicorns. Can you believe it? That state is nuts. I love it.

12 May

I learned something

While reading my text book aloud to Jen, i came accross the word Prophesy. Which I pronounced like I thought it was, Prah-fuh-see. Then Jen, who was driving, corrected me, even though she hadn’t seen the word.

“I think you meant Prah-fuh-sy (like ‘eye’). There are two words, Prophesy and Prophecy.”

I thought she was full of malarkey, and proceeded to pronounce it the same way.

Apparently, there are TWO words. One is a verb, one is a noun. That is stupid.

So, here is a LOLcat for her.

08 May

I know that Dude

  • Zillow says this property is worth 300K, but the owner thinks you should pay him a bit more, cause it means a lot to him.
  • Also, did you read about this hilariously named Georgian Senator’s anti-Drug legislation?

Georgia Law Bans Retailers From Selling ‘Pot Candy’ To Minors

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue signed a measure into law Wednesday that bans the sale of “marijuana flavored products” to minors — anyone under 18 — and calls for a fine of up to $500 for each offense.

The measure takes effect July 1st.

It targets businesses that sell the candies with drug-inspired names such as “Kronic Kandy” and “Pot Suckers.”

The law says the candies promote drug use.

Senator Doug Stoner pushed the bill in the senate. “I don’t think that folks are aware this is going on,” Stoner told Channel 2 in April. “It’s mainly, from what I can tell, particularly targeted to minority communities.”

 

 Recent image of the Senator on his way to work.

06 May

from the comments off HuffPost

I don’t want Clinton to quit on her own. I want to see her dragged from the stage in a straight jacket, kicking and screaming and spitting about how the world is hers.

link

06 May

article for the night

About baseball, and why I wasn’t any good. Really, this is the reason.

30 Apr

28 more pains

Today is my 28th birthday. I don’t think that is old, and it isn’t. I am definitely in my late 20s now. Even my later late 20s. That part doesn’t bother me as much as I pretend it does.

What does bother me is that this weekend , while not doing anything particularly stressful, I somehow managed to pull a muscle in my back

My brother gifted me a very high threshold for pain tolerance, but this was something brand new. It was all tight, and bunched up, and felt like there was a turtle sleeping under my shoulder blade. When I tried to breathe in it hurt. When I laid on my back it hurt. When I foolishly tried to help Josh move, it hurt much worser. For 3 days it was somewhere between a dull ache and a sharp pain, which I guess is pretty much everything.

Sheesh. I don’t like to complain about things like that, but this was truly remarkable, clearly a sign that I am not as young as I was last month, or last year.

I can’t wait til I am 29. Luckily Jen gets older before I do, so I can watch what happens to her first.

29 Apr

Autonomous Potato Growing Unit 2008

This is my attempt to grow potatoes above ground this season.

I found some plastic chicken wire at a garage sale last summer. I don’t think it would keep chickens in, but it folded up into a nice cylinder. I cut up four Yukon Gold seed potatoes and placed them in a bed of straw, and then placed another level of straw atop them.

We’ll look to harvest them sometime in July, I think.

I may have overdone it with potato seeds.

We’ll see.

29 Apr

$600 is stimulating!

I am naturally pessimistic. I try to pretend that I am an optimist, and try to look at the positive aspects of negative situations. But deep down this is all denial, at my core I expect the worst, and usually surprised when things turn out better.

If you put your ear to the ground now, you are hearing all sorts of grumbling and swelling fears about hundreds of things Global Warming, Subprime, Gas Prices, and worst of all, the increase in the price of food.

This is all stuff that doesn’t shock me. It pretty much is par for my mental and emotional course. Luther called this anfechtung. It doesn’t really translate into English very well, but it is basically a sense of overwhelming dread and consternation.

The thing, though, that I am thinking about is what happens in the worst case scenario. Let say oil prices go to the $10 that people are whispering, that rice crops fail, and there is a global food shortage (which, in reality, will be caused not by the lack of food, but the effed up government and global ag policies - this isn’t something I am making up since I lean politically one way or the other – PJ O’Rouke and Michael Pollan would both agree).

What happens when Safeway and Costco stop having everything we need to eat on demand? Unthinkable, right? can’t happen.

What happens when Taco Bell and Arbys can’t buy their product for reasonable prices because of a wheat shortages and a quadrupling of energy costs to ship their fixins to the local franchises, and the cost of a Beef ‘n Cheddar goes from $2 to $8?

That is what I am wondering about.

People stop going because it costs too much, and then they close, right?

But how many people today would know what to do if they don’t have access to that food. There is no sense that anything like this can happen. Food is magically produced by elves and shipped to the store for us to consume.

But we’re thinking worse case. Those elves may all die, and then what do we do? Can’t go to Arbys.

Home Economics class in 7th grade didn’t teach me how to cook or store food, how to can vegetables or grow them. I was taught how to make pancakes from pancake mix and how to make peanut butter cookies. No survival.

The Depression happened because people were stupid, they made horrible economic polices and decisions that, combined with an poorly timed drought, caused a decade of hardship and decades of mistrust of finance.

We have heroes like Bernake and Greenspan who are there to make sure that this won’t happen again. But they are human, and the tendency of those who are in the business of making money is to tear down any barriers that impede profits. It is like taking out a supporting wall in a house because you want to have a more open space – it will look cool for a while, until an unexpected and inevitable earthquake shakes the house and roof falls in and kills everyone in their Lazy Boys sipping high balls and watching Dancing with the Stars.

People haven’t changed since the 1930s. We’re all stupider in different ways. We have become so gluttonous that we have articles in the news about people making sacrifices about how to afford the new Grand Theft Auto game. Instead of taking that $600 from the government and putting it toward a rainy day plan, most people have noticed how much it appears to be the same amount as a new TV.

The whole point of this is rant is that I think people should be taught how to survive. In the 30s, people could still remember that they could grow crops. During The War, people planted Victory Gardens.

Lets bring that back. It isn’t hard to grow food. It is easy.

Ever kept a potato in the cupboard for too long and noticed all the sprouts that cause you to throw them out? You know what? That is because they WANT to grow. In a plastic bag, inside your house, they are growing! Imagine what could happen if you actually intend for them to grow!

Corn? It is grass, and grass grows fast.

Lettuce? I literally had some errant lettuce seeds that sprouted and thrived in the crack of my cement patio. (no, I didn’t eat them, but I let them grow because it was fascinating)

I have rototilled an artichoke plant 3 times, and it keeps growing back year after year.

No one expects a worst case scenario. It isn’t pleasent to think about gas at $10 a gallon when you make $7 an hour and are only taking home $4 of that, and driving 20 miles each way to get to that job. The last thing you want to worry about is that you can’t get a Gordita for at a reasonable price.

But I think it is time that we start remembering that we are capable of making  wise choices - we’ve done it before. I am negative, but I want to be positive.  That is why I am also preparing for the that craptacular stretch where we are forced to make drastic sacrifices whether we are ready or not.

So, people, I will try to post my thought about sustainable and cheap living here.

More soon.

Onward!

28 Apr

Cherry Blossoms

Here is a picture of our cherry tree in full blossom. Those little flowers will all fall off in the next few days, and sometime in the middle of next month that same tree will be covered by swarms of birds chowing down on thousands of Rainier Cherries that are too high for us to pick.

Last night, Jen and I went to Tacoma to see Ben Folds play at University of Puget Sound. I have always managed to miss his shows, and have literally driven past one accidently. So it was a pleasure to actually see him live.

It was at a college, which if you didn’t know, are full of college age people. So, the bulk of the audience was made up of people ages 18-22. I turn 28 this week, and I don’t think that I am that old. But damn, they are sure making college kids look a lot younger these days.

It is trippy to think that when 10 years ago, I was 18 and in college, and these kids were 8, and in 2nd grade. I realize that math is a bit fuzzyish, but as I get farther along in my own degree at Seattle U, that statistic will be scarier and scarier, I reckon.

The show itself was worth the wait and the $25. Ben Lee, an Australian pop-folk singer charmed the heck out of the kids, as well as the shirts of some frat guys. He had stated that in the spirit of inclusion, he would sign all breast, female or male.

Meh. Whatever. I wasn’t there to see him and he played an innocent 40 minutes or so.

After about 20 minutes of set up, Ben Folds came out with his band, a drummer and a bassist, and reeled off a solid 75 minutes of rock. I have been a fan of his work for a while now, and even have his work with Fear of Pop and that brilliant Shatner album from a few year ago. So sitting in the overheated UPS Fieldhouse, watching a performer I haven’t ever seen was really a treat.

His set list felt like he was playing a lot of newer stuff that I was unfamiliar with, including some tracks from a forthcoming album he said would be released in the fall. He used and abused his piano, using pan lids and altoids tins to create unique noises and sounds to add to his songs.

At one point he had a secret special guest, Moby, who proceeded to walk out looking like Phil Collins, and then play some strange solo during a song, and then disappear. It was neat that they are friends, and odd that he was in Tacoma, but it seemed pretty superfluous - Kinda like when Liz Taylor voiced Maggie Simpson’s first word.

Ben Folds was dorky and funny. At one point he began a 4 minute extremely technical explanation of music theory and jazz theory, ending that it was pretty much only good to use to make cheesy lounge music.

After he left for his first act, after violently throwing his stool into the piano, followed by 4 minutes of 19 year olds who didn’t have to work the next day shrieking, the band returned to play an encore set, which included some necessary classics like Kate and the rockin anthem of Narcolepsy.

The whole evening ended in one of the strangest musical displays I have ever seen. Ben Folds stood up, and asked for the audience to help sing the last song, and gave another geeky technical explanation for the three part harmonies he was looking for from the crowd (apparently Gymnasiums are acoustically well suited for this ). During the song, he would point to the crowd during their part, and amazingly the audience remembered exactly their particular portion of the harmonies to a pretty stunning auditory experience.

After the song was over, Folds then stood up, and directed different sides of the auditorium to sing that part again, like you would get people to over lap Row Row Your Boat in time. Then he got creative and had the two sides to sing at strange tempos and times, competeing and following his direction, to the ultimate collaboration of the crowd, then, like a conductor, waived his hands, and there was silence.

He raised his hands up, smiled, bowed, and walked away, the crowed erupted in applause and then the house lights came on.

Pretty cool. I have been to countless shows, and I have to say that was the most entertaining end I can remember.

Bravo, Mr Folds. I will see you next time, even if I am driving accidentally past your performance.

25 Apr

Song for driving, Friday AM

Sister Christian by Night Ranger.

I know all the lyrics, I think. Maybe I don’t. Doesn’t seem to make a lick of sense to me, but boy howdy does that song make you feel like shakin your fist.

You’re motoring
What’s your price for flight
You’ve got him in your sights
And driving through the night.

Now sing it loudly next time you are driving or at a meeting at work. It’ll make you smile.

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